A few months ago I wrote a post about the war between working moms and stay at home moms (SAHM). Tonya from http://redheadthoughts-tonya.blogspot.com/, who is a SAHM wrote about her frustration of the common misconception working moms have towards SAHM. Quote from her post, “The article I was reading says women should not be stay at home moms at all because the children will eventually resent them for not having enough money to do things they would like to do. It also says all women should work in case something happen to the husband (lay off, disability, etc), they have something to fall back on”.
Facts: Children prefer to spend quality time with their parents despite any type of toys or gadget that are existed in the universe.
My mom was a SAHM. I personally cannot be one because:
- I don’t have enough patience
- I freak out when I find bread crumbs all over the floor or trail of toys throughout the house
- When I’m at home, I’m always tempted to watch TV or browse Internet, hence defeat the purpose of staying at home
- I need to have intelligence conversation everyday
- I’m not creative, thinking of doing arts and crafts would be way too much for me to handle
As you can see, I’m not qualified to be a SAHM. Whether you choose to be a SAHM or working mom, your decision should be based on what makes you happy and what is best for your family. In the end, your happiness is what makes your children enjoy spending time with you. I have a friend who is the perfect example of an excellent SAHM. She clips coupon in a way of saving money. She does tons of activities with her kids; taking them to the zoo and children’s museum (cheap entertainment if you become a member), story time at a local library (free), taking them to park (again, free). She also join a SAHM club where they do activities together. One of the activities I like is in-home bible study where each mom take turns in hosting bible study. She does tons of activities everyday with her kids and yet she still has time to cook and do house chores. If you think you can do those things and really enjoy it, by all means staying home would be best for your kids. My other SAHM friend is quite the opposite. She decided to be SAHM just because she doesn’t like working. However, her kids watch TV all the time to the point where they know all TV commercials. They don’t go to the zoo, children museum, or any kids friendly places and activities. They have bazillion toys at home and watch TV all the time. Shouldn’t the idea of being SAHM is not only you get to spend quality time with your kids, but also teaching and introduce them to the world?
There is no right or wrong about being SAHM. You are not better or worse than anybody else. It’s personal decision based on whatever works for you and your family.
Tags: columbus parenting blog, parenting blog, SAHM, stay at home mom
July 25th, 2010 at 11:37 am
Very thoughtful article. For a fresh take on building strong careers and families, check out Getting to 50/50 — on how men and women share roles with all sorts of good results — including a healthier sex life. The book also debunks some common myths that cause many moms to back away from their jobs. Authors Sharon Meers (a Goldman MD now in tech) and Joanna Strober (a private equity exec) share their often funny tales of combining work and family. Definitely a book worth checking out. http://www.gettingto5050.blogspot.com
July 31st, 2010 at 12:37 pm
I don’t see anything wrong with SAHM, I’d love to be one of them and have more time for my daughter, however at the moment it’s not possible, as one wage is not enough to pay for all the bills,activities and everything else for everyday living