I’ve been pregnant twice and my second pregnancy is totally different from the first one.  The first one was more physically challenging.  I was sick almost every day for the first four months, couldn’t eat much, got gestational diabetes.  It was pretty horrible.  With the second pregnancy, I didn’t get morning sickness at all.  I was eating like crazy because I didn’t get gestational diabetes.  But I was extremely extremely emotional.  Every little thing could make me upset for the whole day.  When I found out my friend was leaving the country for good, I was crying the whole day.  Same thing when I found out I was having another boy, I was crying the whole day….at work!!  Luckily I hid it pretty well….at least up until now no one was asking me.  Now he’s so beautiful, I won’t trade him for anything in the world :). I also got upset when people looked at me pity on how big I was

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to tell people (especially to those who have never been pregnant before) what not to do or say to a pregnant woman.  You just never know how emotional those preggo moms are. Of course it is more tolerable if the pregnant woman know you personally.

1.  Never comment on their size
You’re so big! So small! Are you carrying twins? Are you sure you’re only (whatever) months? Are you sure your doctor is right? These comments are so annoying you won’t even believe it! I’m only 5′ tall, not mentioning short-waisted. I’ve always looked big when pregnant even though my belly was just the right size. When I was pregnant with my first child, I didn’t mind those comments at all. With the second one I absolutely hated it! I did have much higher tolerance when I know those people. But one time, a random guy came up to me and asked if I was carrying twins. Without even looking, I simply said no and just walked away. I also had a woman came up to me while I was shopping with such an awe expression on her face and asked, “OMG…are you about to pop?” I swear to God I almost punched her right on her face. Again, I just said no without even looking and walked away. If you can’t help making comments to your pregnant friends, just don’t do it to strangers. Big no no!!

2. Never ask if you can touch their belly… or even worse…touching it without asking!
I never ask any pregnant strangers if I can touch their belly.  I just thought it’s a little weird to do such thing when you don’t know that person.  I have been asked both times, luckily with people I know.  Although I’m not a big fan, I had a hard time saying no.  Again, keep your hands to yourself!

3. Once the baby comes out, your pregnant friend will still look pregnant
Our belly got stretched out for 9 months, so it takes time to go back to its normal size.  Even though the baby is out of the belly, we still look like we’re pregnant.

Being pregnant is physically and emotionally draining.  Negative comments or behavior, even though it’s not intentionally, is definitely not helping.

Guest post by Jewel Cole

My job has gotten really stressful in the last few months, so much so I had to start seeing a therapist. I never really thought I would be one of those women that was so into her career but now that I’m climbing up the corporate ladderI can’t seem to get enough. I recently went to satellitestarinternet.com to get Internet for my house because I sort of lived out in the country and it was really creating a hassle for me that I didn’t have home Internet access. My boss is the type that e-mails you at midnight and expects your response when you wake up at 6 AM so it just wasn’t an option for me to be out of touch even when I wasn’t in the office. My therapist tells me I need to set some boundaries and really draw some lines between my personal life and my professional life but I feel like that’s always a lot easier said than done.

There are a lot of things that I wish I could do or not do when it comes to raising my kids.  Many times I’m just struggling to keep things together.  But I do realize that it’s important to do a little bit of self reflection.

1.  I’m guilty of not spending enough time with my kids
Spending time with kids doesn’t have to be for hours and hours of dedicated playtime, although it’s great if you can do that.  It could be just a few minutes of conversation after dinner or before bath time.  As an example, sometimes my son would act silly while he’s getting ready for shower.  I tend to rush him into getting in the shower because I have other things to take care of.  I do realize it would be nice if I can laugh about it and respond to his silliness.  I have to say, it’s getting harder and harder for me to spend more time with my oldest son ever since his brother was born.

2.  Guilty of bribing
Yes, sometimes I bribe my child.  “Honey, if you go to Chinese School I will give you candy” or “If you be a good boy today I’ll let you watch TV”.  I’m unconsciously bribe my child all the time because clearly it’s the quickest way to handle the situation.  However, bribing could damage a child in the long run.

3.  Guilty of cussing
I’m the queen of cussing.  I cuss all the time, especially while driving.  There are many times when my son would repeat my cuss and I would be like… OMG I hope he won’t say that in school and I would get in trouble.

4.  Guilty from helping too much
I tend to help my son even though I know he can actually do a lot of things himself just because it’ll be faster if I do that.  In the morning I always end up putting on his shoes even though he can do it himself just because usually I’m in a hurry and need to do everything I can to take my son to school and be at work on time.

5.  Guilty of throwing empty threats
“If you do that one more time I’m going to put you in time out!!” or “You throw your toys one more time I’m going to throw it away”. Empty threats is a dangerous thing because then your child will not take you seriously. I’m 100% guilty of it and now my son views me as the softy one and my hubby is the stern one.

6.  Guilty of not providing enough vegetable in his diet
Asian don’t typically eat vegetable unless it’s mixed with the main dish, cook in a heavy sauce or in a soup of coconut milk…. none of these are healthy!  We eat raw vegetable by dipping it in a chili sauce, which my son can’t eat since it’s too spicy for him.  Now he refuse to eat vegetable.

Well, what can I say?  I’m far from perfect and sometimes… I just gotta do what I gotta do.  I’m hoping I can find a way to be a better parent for my kids.

Craigslist is by far one of my favorite site ever!  I visit the site every single day, sometimes several times a day just like I read the news or checking out my Facebook.  I even have the apps in my Android.  This apps allow me to put things that I’m looking for and give me an alert when somebody post that items.  The best thing about Craigslist is the fact that it’s local, you can find similar posts to know how much your item is worth, and no listing fees.  Unfortunately there has been so many crimes that happened from Craigslist lately; from “the Craigslist Killer” who killed prostitutes he hired through Craigslist several years ago, to the most recent one in Ohio.  Three men responded to a job posting from Craigslist were found dead.

I’ve always had a good experience with Craigslist so far.  Here’s some safety tips regarding Craigslist:

1. Avoid using Craigslist for job searching.  You’ll never know what kind of scams you’re going to end up with
2. Do not use Craigslist to look for service provider.  If you’re thinking of hiring a service provider such as plumber, landscaper, maid, etc, stick with Angie’s List.  Angie’s List provide ratings, reviews from former customers, penalty if the service providers do shady work, etc.  Contractors who are listed on Angie’s List are typically more expensive than the ones in Craigslist.  However, even if you go with Angie’s list contractors who don’t have a lot of reviews, they are still better off than Craigslist’s.  Better safe than sorry!
3. Only use Craigslist to buy and sell items.  If you sell items on Craigslist, ask the buyer to meet at public place.  I remember reading some news about a man who’s selling an engagement ring on Craigslist and got robbed by his buyer at home

We’ve sold a few items from Craigslist and always met the buyers somewhere else, although items we purchased usually taken place at the sellers home.  Items we’ve purchased from Craigslist:

• Bicycle Trailer $40
• Wrought iron patio furniture set (table and 4 chairs) $75
• SmartCycle with 3 games $30
• 3 hanging pictures and a curtain rod in transportation theme for my son’s bedroom (read this post).  This is actually the only time I met the seller at a grocery store’s parking lot
• A walker for my mom after she got out of the hospital $10

Items we sold:

• My car.  Sold it $200 below the asking price within 3 days of listing.  Hubby met the buyer at Mall’s parking lot
• My son’s Halloween costume when he was a baby, sold it for $10.  I met the buyer at McDonald parking lot

Craigslist is also the perfect place to find out about garage sale info and we got tons of good deals from it.  I love love love my Craigslist findings!

It’s time for my annual New Year’s resolution and wishlist.  In the past, I always listed just wishlist without making an effort of thinking about my resolution.  In reality, my resolution had always been the same… that is being able to sleep at least 6 hours/day, something that has yet to happen unfortunately.  However, I feel like making changes to be a better person this year.  Looking back 2011 has been full of the ups and downs.  Below is the list I made last year of what I want in 2011:

1. Get a brand new stainless steel gas stove with over the range microwave.
2. Get a new wrought iron patio furniture.  Thanks to Craigslists
3. Home Improvement.  Get the bathroom fixed and hopefully get the kitchen back splash that I want.  Replacing the flooring will probably have to wait.  Unchecked.  We found out there was nothing wrong with our bathroom.  However we fixed the trimming a little bit on the second bathroom.  Kitchen backsplash again had to be postponed.
4. I want my baby to be healthy.  I’m hoping it’s going to be a girl, but as long as it’s healthy, that’s all matters.  I have a beautiful healthy baby boy whom I adore each and every day.
5. I want my hubby to find a new job.  I know how unhappy he is with his job right now and hopefully he could find something that makes him happy.  Unchecked.  I don’t know if he’ll ever have any intention of looking for a job.  I guess I believe it when I see it.  Whatever floats his boat…that’s all matter to me.
6. Get a bedroom makeover.  I want to downsize our current Cal King size bed into Queen size.  While doing that, we might as well replace our bedroom furniture.  Unchecked.  Sometimes we have our two little ones sleep with us.  Yes… all four of us in our King size bed.  I sleep nurse my baby during early a.m feeding (can’t make myself sitting down during those hours).  And sometimes my oldest son crawl into our bed in the middle of the night.  So, I don’t think this wish is going to happen anytime soon.
7. I want to upgrade my blog with the next version of Wordpress.  I’m not a techy person… believe me!  If I do this myself, it will probably take ten times longer than most techy person.  I just don’t know if I have time to do this myself with the arrival of our baby.  Volunteers anyone?  Unchecked, but my hubby is going to do this as my Christmas present.
8. Monetizing my blog by having a store front.  I have earned quite a bit with this blog through paid reviews and affiliates marketing.  It would be nice if I could have a store front and earn money through commission only.  Again, not sure where to start or if I have time to develop this plan.  Unchecked.

The unpredictable ups in 2011:

1. My hubby and I went on a cruise early this year while I was 3 month pregnant.  Thanks to my sister in law and hubby’s cousin who watched our son, we were able to go to a 3 day cruise… just the two of us.  We ate and ate, did snorkeling, dancing, it was by far the best vacation I’ve ever had
2. Hubby got higher raise than usual
3. We finally installed the shelving unit in the garage and now my garage is all nice and neat.  There will be a post about this project in the Spring
4. Got a new car.  I sold my beloved ten-year-old two door Civic and got a brand new Honda Fit
5. Developed a new friendship with a group of people.  These people came to our church on my son’s baptism even though they’re not Catholic.  They stopped by and delivered food while my mom was hospitalized even though they don’t live nearby.  When you’re down, that’s when you find who your friends are

The unpredictable downs in 2011:

1. My mom got really sick while staying with us

And now my 2012 Wishlist and Resolution:

1. Unresolved 2011 Wishlist and Resolution number 3, 7 and 8.  The home improvement will only be for kitchen update which includes backsplash, granite countertop, drop down sink, and new faucet.  Until I get that, I’m going to put it on my wishlist every single year
2. Watch less TV and blog more.  Over the past few months I have been so busy with work and my baby who’s still waking up in the middle of the night.  By the time the kids go to bed, I’m just totally exhausted and can’t even think.  I’m hoping next year would be much better
3. My baby can sleep through the night.  Baby… I love you so much, but will you please stop waking up at 3 a.m for feeding so Mommy can function better?
4. Learn SQL
5. I would like to move to a different group within my department.  About a month ago, I told my boss and my boss’ boss that I would like to do something different and moving to a different group might be the way to go.  I’m not looking for a promotion, although I won’t refuse it.  But I just get bored doing what I’m doing right now and need to learn something new
6. Decluttering and downsizing by selling my dog business stuffs and hubby’s DVD collection
7. Organize my office, perhaps getting rid of the ginormous bookshelves, installing shelving unit in the closet and buy a nice futon or small sofa bed for a guest
8. Travel to California to visit Cars Land at Disneyland Adventure Park that will be opened next year
9. Hire a landscaper to make over my front and backyard.  No need major makeover, just a simple trimming, Spring cleanup, and removing unwanted plants
10. Sell our rental property

So many things I want…So little time…

2011 has been a roller coaster for us.  Even though my mom got really sick last year, but I’m thankful that she’s getting so much better every day.  I’m thankful for the ups and downs because it’s only going to make us stronger and be a better person.  I’m welcoming 2012 with a positive attitude and hope it will be a much better year for us.

Happy New Year!!